Our little Halloween sandman

biker baby

We get told all the time that it looks like Elijah's got a mohawk. His hair is just growing in that way. So I finally remembered to spike it up with some product before bath time and we got carried away making him look like a biker with some eyeliner. Here's a few pictures.



The last one is very "blue steel" in my opinion. What do the Zoolander fans think?

Eli's latest tricks

Here's a few videos. One of Eli laughing and one of his more recent sounds.

When it rains, it pours

Not much to update about, when I get the house to a place where I'm happy with it I'll take and post some pictures but I am side tracked again. Eli, Dave, and I were driving home after a late dinner out last Thursday and got rear-ended. We're fine but our backs are sore with some whiplash but over all we're doing fine. We were feeling good enough to have some friends over Saturday morning and show of our work in progress house (we still have boxes in just about every room that need attending) and Sunday had one of Dave's old buddies over for dinner with his new wife. We're pretty excited to have them in our ward. Ah but I forget Saturday night I realized I was getting mastitis yet again. Ah the joys of motherhood. I'm pretty tired but have a ton to do this week so I hope I can get to bed early enough at night not to delay healing. I'm grateful to learn but I hope I can relax one of these days, but we're getting Eli's 4 month shots tomorrow so it could be tough. Speaking of Eli, he's crying some big ol crocodile tears so I better go.

Linda

So I've been feeling like I needed to write since we've moved but didn't know what to write about. Then I read my friend Shasta's blog and how she lost a dear mother figure by the name of Linda. How could I have wondered what to write on . . . .

So we moved in last Saturday and I had a goal of getting all unpacked by Thursday, the day my sister would be coming in to town with her family. Her husband's mom had pancreatic cancer and things weren't great. I got a phone call Sunday evening saying they were moving things up and flying in that night because Jason's mom, Linda, was not doing well.

Back up a little, I moved to Texas in May of 2005 because I felt prompted that this was where I should be. I knew no one, and my only family was my sister and her kids and husband. Shortly after I moved here I became better acquainted with Russ and Linda. Linda even let me come and stay at her house for a few days and do some work around her house when I hadn't found a job yet. In my first year here I went on 2 family vacations with them and met up with them in Boston on my own personal vacation. It was nice to have such generous people to welcome me into their home and into their family. I met my husband to be a little over a year after moving here. Since then I have not seen Russ and Linda much but Linda was kind enough to quilt a Christmas tree skirt I had made. I saw them periodically when my sister still lived here. Then she moved away and I didn't see Linda much (except when Bonnie & Fam were in town) although I knew Linda had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I thought of her often (usually when I was making my quilt as she was an avid quilter).

So last Monday I talked to Bonnie and told her to let me know if she wanted me to take the kids. Then I talked to her in the evening and she said she was at home as her almost 5 year old Jeremy could not be quiet enough for a hospital. After asking if she wanted to drop off the kids I had an epiphany and told her I was coming to get the kids. I came and got them and they spent the night because Linda was being brought home in an ambulance that evening and Bonnie didn't want her kids to have to see that. I brought them back to their grandparents house the next day and spend some time with Linda's family who had all come in to town to say goodbye. I was reminded what a wonderful lady she was. Always serving others in many ways and often making them quilts (she had several unfinished ones still in her sewing room).

Linda passed away Tuesday night/Wednesday morning with her sons, their families, and
husband in her home. I took my nephew the following night while his sister was at her cousin's house. His parents had explained that grandma was in paradise and he said he didn't want her in paradise but wanted her closer to them in Chicago. He and I talked a little bit about grandma while he was at my house and he said he was sad but that grandma could see him now with her spirit eyes. He prayed that night for grandma to be happy where she was.

I was able to attend a memorial service for Linda last Friday (her funeral and burial are today in Utah) and it was a tender meeting. Mark (her son) gave a wonderful Eulogy where he discussed her and how she exemplified the young women values of our church: Faith, Divine Nature, Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good Works, Integrity, and Virtue. He talked of her service to others. Her friend gave a wonderful tribute as well and I found myself sad that I hadn't seen her so much. I should have . . . not for her good, as she had many wonderful people who cared about her, but for me. I missed out and I will always be sad about that.

So I guess this is a testament to all, there are a lot of people in our lives who are wonderful. Don't let yourself miss out on knowing them better. You never know how short their time is and you don't want to regret it. You may be missing out on a valuable lesson they could teach you.

Oh, and for those of you wondering why I haven't invited you over, all of this last week is the reason we're not quite settled yet.

Looking Forward to

I've been intending to write this post for a while but these are a few of the things I am looking forward to being grateful for in our new house (that we will own in a week).

1. Not having to haul the stroller down a flight of stairs in order to take Eli out in it (I think we will have more walks in the house.

2. No more obnoxious neighbors in the next apartment over whose kids are outside all day screaming.

3. A garage to park in (and we will once we get an opener for it).

4. Storage space! An attic, a garage, and closets! Our current apartment only has two closets (one in each bedroom) good thing the master is large enough for our linens too.

5. Two bathrooms! Now one of us can go to the bathroom and the other can bathe the baby without interfering.

6. A big kitchen. Now it's not big by anyone's standards but ours seeing as our current kitchen is smaller than our master bedroom closet.

7. A separate office from the nursery. Maybe now Eli can take naps in his crib more than once in a while.

8. A fridge with an ice maker! Now that is not the house but the fridge we bought but I'm still totally stoked!

I'm sure there are more and I will post them as I think of them. Thanks for letting me share the excitement!

Never forget

It's been 9 years since the attacks on the world trade center and it's crazy to think it was so long ago. Though my memories of that day have faded some, I still remember quite a bit.

My roommate Kirsten turned on the radio as she always did while doing her make-up. It was strange that the music station wasn't playing music and it wasn't commercials. There was some agitated talking. We heard something about a plane crashing into a building and I remember not really understanding what was going on. I was only 19 and really didn't know much about the world outside my comfortable life as a college student. We started to understand that 2 planes had crashed into the world trade center towers and that it likely wasn't an accident. While we were listening a plane also crashed into the Pentagon. I called my brother Mike to find out who had such hatred for the US to do this and it was the first time I remember hearing the name Osama Bin Laden. How naive I was at such an age, thinking no one really had such hatred towards America and Americans. I had no idea about world affairs. I wanted to know it was real and since I did not have a TV in my apartment at college I knocked on peoples doors until I could find a TV so I could see what was happening. It was one of the most surreal things I have ever seen, it seemed to tear at my soul. I had always felt so safe as an American. People weren't dumb enough to attack America any more, right?

My first class of the day was a religion class (I was at BYU-Idaho) and my professor just turned on the news in the class as we sat silently watching. I still remember exactly how I felt and what a scary thing it was to feel like my safety was gone. He turned it off and we read from the Book of Mormon about wars in those times. I can't remember anything that we read but I know that there was some peace in something we read (in fact I probably have it marked, I should find that).

There was a TV in the lounge at my apartment and I watched it constantly for a few days, still shocked and trying to make sense of it all. It felt like the last days. A neighbor of mine had a family member in one of the towers and I remember she could not get through on the phone to anyone to find out if he was okay.

Sometimes I feel like we forget that day. For the first few months afterward it felt like our nation was united. It didn't matter what political party you were affiliated with, or how you felt about abortion, we knew that Americans had been murdered in a political move by al-Qaeda. Our hearts were broken and we felt the weight of the tragedy universally.

Do you still remember?

Cousin Pictures

Dave's parents have a friend across the street who is a professional photographer. We caught up with her the other day and got these pictures of Elijah and his cousins. (They were all born in a 16 day span). Elijah is on the right, Remington (Dave's younger brother's son) is on the left, and Jamison (Dave's older sister's son) is in the middle. Enjoy!









If you live in Houston area and want a good photographer check her out at www.k4photography.com

A home for the Figgins

We are officially under contract for a home. It's quite a scary venture but we're excited. As long as the sellers take care of a couple of issues we found in yesterday's inspection we'll close Sept 30th and move the next 2 days! Moving at the beginning of Oct will cut Dave's drive to work in half which will be really nice. Anyway . . . we're stoked. Here's some pictures of the place.

Dave's New Job

After lots of cell phone minutes and lots of crying on my part, the Lord came through and David has a job. I learned a lot about faith and I think David and I grew as a couple. I learned to be a little more trusting and let go of control a little.

We found out last Tuesday that David was going to have a job. Both Eisenhower High School and Clark Intermediate called on the same day to tell him they were submitting his name to HR and wanted to hire him. He at first was going to take the first person to get him a contract but when Eisenhower called the next day saying they wanted him to start meetings the next day and he could sign something then he just didn't feel good about it. He and I talked it over and I told him to call and talk with the district Fine Arts chair (he'd been talking with him over the past few months about getting a job). He had a good chat and they had him sign a letter of intent securing his position with the district. It was such a relief.

It's taken until today for them to finish his background check and get the paperwork in order (they're swamped and have a new person in HR training) but he signs his contract tonight and I will send out my resignation when he does. I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom and now I will get to. Funny how the thing you want can sometimes be the most scary . . . we'll be fine but I need to start figuring out a cleaning schedule so I can do a better job of keeping house and making dinners. I'll have to grocery shop when Dave gets home until it cools down here because my car's AC sucks if it's over 90 as it always is here. I am just excited to be a homemaker and to raise Elijah. He lights up our lives.

Now it's on to house buying, we're almost ready to make an offer and that will start a new chapter in our lives as real home owning adults!

Elijah Update: I just had to share this picture of Eli. He's such a sweet boy and at this point he rolls over nearly every time I put him on his tummy. So strong! He's also putting his fist in his mouth (some days more adeptly than others) and grabbing his elephant toy on the bouncer. He no longer grabs and shakes his rattle as well as he used to but I think he's just bored with that now.

Sad face

Last night I was trying to help Elijah finish waking up from his nap. So I took his binky and continued doing whatever I was doing. I looked back and he was looking at me with big eyes and his typical sad face, which happens to be the cutest sad face I've ever seen. I happened to catch it on film finally. So here is Eli's sad face.



Isn't that great!

Sleep

So I really need to post more and not worry about if this is a nice looking entry with lots to say. So I was telling my friend Melanie about how well Eli is sleeping and she told me it was journal worthy and I didn't journal it. So here it is. I've been working on getting Elijah to sleep through the night (8 hours) as the pediatrician said that a baby can sleep 8 hours through the night by 8 weeks. She said that if you get them sleeping 5 hours by 5 weeks, 6 hours by 6 weeks and so on that they can be sleeping 8 hours by 8 weeks. It sounded good to me and since he was already doing 4 hours when he was 1 week old I figured it could happen. She said that when you are doing this that the baby will probably eat every 2-3 hours during the day. At 4 weeks old Eli had a bad tummy and the next day he was better and we went to San Antonio but he has altered his "normal" schedule a little the night before with his bad tummy. The first night in San Antonio he put himself on a 5 hour a night pattern. I was thrilled and he kept it up and was eating every 2-3 hours. When my mom was here I didn't want to mess with it and keep her up if he cried but he was consistently sleeping 5 hours each night.

When she left I thought I'd try putting him to bed 30 minutes earlier and see how that went. He woke up at the same time the first night putting him at 5.5 hours and the next night slept 30 minutes later which was 6 hours. Last week his eating changed a bit (eating less at each feeding for a while then increasing again). He had a really bad night with some gas last Wednesday and so he kept fussing but was happy with if I put his binky in his mouth so I did that every 10 minutes for an hour then a few more times and then I realized he has slept 7.5 hours. I felt so guilty so I got him up and fed him and put him back to bed.

The following night he whined 2 or 3 times total and I put his binky in his mouth and he slept for 8 hours before I was in so much pain I had to wake him to feed him. The next night he had just had shots and ate like crap during his last 2 feedings so I was sure the dream was over, but he slept for 7 hours before I woke him up to make sure he had some Tylenol in him and fed him (who wants a hungry baby in pain screaming at night right?) Since then he has consistently gone 7-8 hours between feedings at night. Sometimes he has really bad gas and I have to rock him back to sleep but he is doing so well. He eats about every 2 hours during the day but I am so glad to have good sleep at night. I have such a sweet boy.

Now all I need is some advice about adding formula to his eating. I don't want to stop nursing but I do want him to bottle feed formula periodically so that if I need to be gone for more than 2 hours (ie a date with my husband) I know he'll take a bottle. Advice?

The 4th

We were lucky enough to be able to go to San Antonio for the 4th of July to see Elijah's cousin Jamison be blessed. It was the first time all of the cousins were together. For those of you who don't know Elijah has 2 cousins who are about 2 weeks older than he is. Here are some pictures of the boys. Jamison (Lindsay & Logan's) is in the plaid shorts, Remington (Doug & Hallie's) is in the navy shorts and of course our little one is in the red shorts.



We enjoyed our stay although Elijah was quite overstimulated by the end and screamed our last night there. We were glad to be home and Elijah was too. So much so that he just laid on the floor and talked for 30 minutes when we got home. Now for his blessing this weekend!

Strong boy

The day after Elijah was born he was laying on my chest in the hospital and he lifted his head turned it the other way and laid it back down. That was my first indication that I had a very strong boy.

The next evening when we brought him home from the hospital I did my first diaper change on the floor on a blanket. I have quite a bit of diaper changing experience but I was not prepared for my little boy to straighten out is legs as I was wiping him up and stiffen up his whole body so he was balancing on his head. Needless to say, diaper changing was a two person affair for the first little while until he got used to it.

When Elijah was 5 days old we went to our first pediatrician appointment. We were pleased that he had regained birth weight and laughed as he peed all over the scale and the wall next to the scale. It was quite amusing as Dave cupped his hands and put them in front of the stream to try to prevent the pee from going everywhere. The doctor came and checked him over and when she was holding him and checking him over she was like "Holy Cow he's strong." She let us know that we are NEVER to leave him unattended on anything. She even recommends that when we put him on the changing table that we buckle him on even though we are right there.

At his two week appointment a week later the doctor was checking him over again and put him on his tummy on the table and started saying "Oh my gosh, you should not be doing this." Then he rolled from front to back. I was dumb founded. He's definitely not a pro at it but he's rolled over twice more since then. The other good news was he's gaining weight very well. He had gained 9 ounces between his one week and 2 week appointments.

Elijah tends to eat in 4 hour increments and night which is great for me. After he eats and I change him I end up getting about 3 hours of sleep about twice in the night and about 2 hours around the same time. He's been doing this since birth so I really hope he keeps it up. The pediatrician said he should be able to go 5 hours once a night by the time he's 5 weeks, 6 at 6 weeks, and if we can keep that up we should be able to have our boy sleeping 8 hours a night at 8 weeks. Here's hoping it works that well.

That's about all for now. He's doing well, we're doing well although a bit bored at times when he's napping and when I can't nap. We're looking forward to him being more interactive. For now he sometimes stares at us when we talk to him and that's nice.

The Birth of Baby Elijah

As most of you already know Elijah David Figgins was born on Friday, June 4th at 4:28 pm. He weighed in at 7 lbs 14 oz and was 21 inches long. For most of you that's all that matters. For journaling purposes I'm going to write a detailed account. Feel free to skip it.

It really started on Wednesday morning. I woke up around 3 feeling horrible and fluish. My skin hurt and I felt sick. I had a doctor's appointment that morning and in the waiting room I noticed I was having contractions pretty regularly. The doctor stripped my membranes and said that my fluishness could be early labor. I was beside myself being so uncomfortable and feeling so horrid. She told us to go find someplace to walk to try to help the labor. She told Dave if I was still feeling so horrid to come to the hospital later. We had some lunch and walked around the mall and my contractions were still 10 minutes apart albeit pretty painful at times.

That evening we waited at Dave's parents' house for my little sister Stacy to fly in (that was an adventure). We ended up driving all the way to Hobby airport only to find out that she had flown all the way to Houston and then been turned around back to Dallas due to bad weather. We stayed the night at his parents to be closer to the airport to pick her up in the morning. That night I was still having contractions.

The next day we picked up Stacy and headed back to Conroe. She and I went walking at some stores in our local strip mall and the contractions were seeming to get harder. She kept me walking and bending over and all sorts of moving. When I got home we had dinner and I was having some pretty decent contractions while talking to my two other sisters on the phone. We decided that we'd wait through the night and go in the morning if the contractions continued. I went to sleep around 11 and woke up at 1 having contractions every 10 minutes that were hard enough that I had to breathe through them. Poor David did not sleep much that night either. We put off going in until I was sure they'd talk to my doctor while I was there. They hooked me up to the monitors my doctor came and checked me and said that I'd progressed 1 cm from my appt 2 days before. They admitted me and I was ecstatic! We were having a baby. They admitted me and broke my water which had a little meconium in it. Dave watched saying that he had to see everything once. He has since said that he doesn't ever have to see that again. I thought he was gonna puke right there.

I told them we should go ahead with an epidural seeing as the contractions were getting stronger. By the time the anesthesiologist came I was glad I had asked. I do have to say that getting the epidural was one of the worst parts of the whole thing. I cried and the got yelled at for crying because I needed to tell them what was hurting and not just cry. So then it became "pinch" sob sob "nervy feeling" weep weep. I do have to say I was grateful for it though. Labor wasn't too bad.

My contractions became weaker so I had to have some pitocin. Then my blood pressure started to drop (no big deal unless your normal blood pressure is 90 over 60) so I was given oxygen and rolled on my side. Then the baby's heart rate started dropping between contractions. I was rolled from side to side each time I set off an alarm for either myself or the baby. The doctor came and explained what was going on and checked me. I was dialated to 7cm by then and they said that they would see if I would progress fast enough to deliver vaginally but that if things didn't get better that I'd have the have a C-section.

I cried. I know that once you have a c-section you always have to have one and I didn't want to have the longer recovery. I had David give me a priesthood blessing and just had faith that if it was the Lord's will that I would not have to go to the OR to have the baby. Another nurse came in a little while later to turn me yet again. When she did so she yanked the mat under me really hard and got me on my side better than I had been (it's hard to be on your side with a completely dead leg) and the baby's heart rate stabilized. I was dialated to 10 when the doctor checked me so we sent Stacy out to the waiting area at 4:08 (because seriously, no one needs to see that who doesn't have to). They got me into the stirrups and on my back and explained the art of pushing. I started pushing and the doctor called the nurses station for a bunch of stuff among which was forceps. I was proud that I held it together and just kept pushing. Dave was watching and thought it was gross until the doctor pointed out the top of baby Elijah's head. They all praised my pushing which I assumed was normal and then asked if I wanted to feel his head. When the nurse came in with the forceps she asked the doctor what for and she said nevermind, they wouldn't need them (YES!). Baby Elijah David Figgins came into the world at 4:28 after about 15 minutes of pushing. He was holding onto his umbilical cord when he came out (which may have been the cause of the heart rate issues). He is beautiful. I cried, David cried and we both feel so blessed to have him in our lives.

Ready whenever you are!

So here I am at 38 weeks. Our baby is due in less than 2 weeks! We're so excited. I decided that Friday would be my last day so I let the school know on Wednesday. Now all I have to do is change our spare bedroom from a storage/computer room to a nursery/computer room (we decided that since we're moving by the end of summer it doesn't make sense to relocate the computer). In preparation for that I started to catch up on laundry yesterday and finished this morning. I also cleaned the kitchen and started rearranging things in the closet (we took one load of stuff to Dave's parents for storage a few weeks ago) now that there is more room. We'll probably get Dave's drafting table and some art supplies down to his parents house tomorrow and then bring up our changing table and crib. Then the real fun will begin and after that our baby can come whenever he wants and I won't feel unprepared.

Now people keep commenting on how little I am which is kind of nice (no one wants to feel huge) but I do have to let you all know that as nice as it probably looks to you all, I assure you that my baby is normal sized. He has been in my lungs for months and has been pushing on my pelvis for weeks. He has always been nearly in my ribs and now they are his favorite kicking place because he is completely in them. Not that I mean to complain because I couldn't be more thrilled to be having this little guy. Dave and I have wanted kids for a long time. I'm just saying that when you are pregnant and sticking out into the world you need to remember 2 things. 1-sticking out pregnant is cute, much better than kinda just looking fat which I did until about 2 weeks ago. 2-as uncomfortable as you are I'd be willing to bet your innards are quite pleased that the baby hasn't squished them all up. 3-(I know I said only two but I just thought of one) I have stretch marks too so it doesn't matter that I held my baby all on the inside.

I love you all . . . thanks for reading with me and keeping me company, being my friends, and making me feel like I'm cute in my tiny but uncomfortable pregnancy. I am excited to introduce our little guy to you all soon.

Graduation

It's official . . . my husband is now a college grad.

An Awesome Daddy

We are now 6 weeks away from the due date of our baby boy. I turned 28 last week and I'm a little miffed to realize that when our baby is born Dave will still be 27. Not only that but this Mother's Day I will not technically be a mom yet and Dave is certain to be a father by Father's Day. Sigh. Not that those things really upset me but are just a little annoyance to think and then get over.

It's amazing as I get closer to my due date how much more active our little boy is getting. It's getting harder to sleep through his little kicks and nudges. I used to think when he was born that I might miss feeling him move inside of me but I think I won't. It's probably part of the plan for having 9 months of pregnancy and feeling the baby move for about 6 of those months. It's awesome and amazing but by the end you're ready to be done.

I'm also coming to realize what an awesome daddy Dave is going to be. He loves talking to his baby and the baby responds to his voice. It's pretty cute. I still haven't figured out how to talk to the baby and maybe it's because I can't get my face to my belly and I am never alone. David is also starting to get protective and is insisting that I take time off at the end of the school year which I just think is cute. I probably will take the time since he is so insistent and I think I want to but just needed to feel "permission" from someone.

I am so excited to be able to make Dave a daddy and even though it's not fair that he gets an extra Father's Day I think he deserves it. He does so much for me as I am finding myself less able and willing to do some things around the house. He is very thoughtful and hard working. When my sister Stacy got married a few weeks ago he asked 3 of his nieces to dance with him at the reception and I think the 2 that obliged very much enjoyed his thoughtfulness. He also saw that more help was needed in the kitchen, stepped in to do it and was there with my brother most of the evening, despite having to miss out on eating much of the good food.

I just can't say enough about how lucky I am to have him. Neither of us are perfect and we don't always agree, but he is the perfect man for me and will be the perfect dad to our little boy and our other future children. What a blessing.

A few wedding pics

My husband is also a pretty good photographer.

Cheater

So I got tagged by Tanya for this but I cheated. It wasn't the first folder with 10 pictures it was the 3rd but the other pictures were lame.

This is 2 of my nieces at my brother's wedding reception a few years back. With 6 previously married siblings there were a lot of kids around enjoying the cousins they don't often see and I just love this picture.


So. . . this is how you play:

1. Open your pictures and open the very first folder.

2. Go to the 10th photo in that folder.

3. Post the photo and write the explanation of it.

4. Tag five more people.

I tag Brandy, Andrea, Bethany, Haley, and Holly (I'm tagging you because I'm pretty sure you read my blog but anyone else who does should do this. I had fun even though I cheated).

Quick Update

Baby boy continues to grow and I am starting to understand people who get annoyed at the constant movement. He's pretty good but sometimes I get kinda motion sick especially when he goes nuts right after I eat. Yuck. We are so blessed to have our little boy in our lives and are super excited to meet him in 3 months.

Dave has secured a long term subbing position at the school where I work. It has its ups and downs. As much as I know he is frustrated with the kinds of kids we deal with each day I know they are blessed to have him. He is also blessed for working hard with kids who need an influence like him. We're not sure if this will last until the end of the year or if the art teacher will come back but we're hoping that either way this job will get him an "in" with the district. He's been told there will be some openings in Spring High School next year and think that may be a good fit . . . mostly we are just hoping that by having an "in" that we will know sooner if he has a job next year and I can quit and we can buy a house.

Thanks for keeping up with us and we appreciate everyone who is loving and supporting us and keeping tabs on how we're doing.

It's a BOY!

this is for those of you without the benefits of facebook who don't know yet. On Monday he showed us his manhood but wouldn't move so we could get a good look at the heart so we'll be back soon to look at that.

Was that what I thought it was?

So around Christmas time I started to feel something faint. I felt a distinct flutter a few weeks before but nothing since. It felt like maybe the pulse I normally feel around my bellybutton but it wasn't in the right place. It also kinda feels like bubbles moving through my stomach. I am officially feeling our baby move and it is really exciting. I was on the phone with my sister Stacy last night and the baby totally bumped me twice. It was like a little "Hello Aunt Stacy."

On the other hand a friend at work yesterday said I am looking particularly pale and anemic. I have been wondering if I should be taking additional iron supplements and I think I probably should. Ah the joys of pregnancy. So worth it though because I am so thrilled to be on this journey with Dave. A week from Monday we'll find out the sex of the baby (as long as the baby cooperates) and I'm excited to start being able to use the correct pronouns instead of "it".